Most awesome night ever. I managed to meet someone while walking across from Mayfest. We walked across the bridge without fences. A new story begins. And what beautiful music - the lyrics of the following evenings written for people like me, not cold hearts like his. We know how to love.
And it was that easy too - seeing him in the front row, walking by him as we exited, letting him catch me glancing at him, syncing out steps across the quad, “Your face looks familiar.” I am fucking back.
Sam told me to leave, but ended up scurrying away himself. I never deserved to be treated with such cruelty, even though I maintain my apologies. He has never apologized - he cannot stand to think of himself as one who does wrong - he will feel guilt and run away, but does not know how to accept forgiveness, to be happy for what he has.
And, as the blonde said, “It is your building.” You do not own this town or me Samuel. My bad for asking if you were dating Amit. I just do not understand you. Your parents are so lovely for you to be such an unrepentant beast.
"I know I act like I just ate the
western hemisphere for breakfast.
But, down here in the boiler room,
I know I need advice.
And not the kind I get from Joey,
or the Madison Avenue lot...
who'll betray me
as soon as my back is turned.
No, I know when I come
to the top of a mountain...
I need you.
Because you're level with me.
You're my lifeline to truth.
[Redacted, though mutual FB friends could tell you.]
Can't keep anything alive up here.
Dust in this city kills everything.
Don't play with me.
Don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me." -A Face in the Crowd (1953)
I am so content here, the ducks below. Having reached the end or the beginning, either way, I have found peace… At 2:14PM the doorbell interrupts my post, I think it is him, but it is a guy who welcomes himself into my apartment and now I’m changing energy suppliers. Super awkward.
Love Tractor - “Venice”
On the upside, that’s one thing I had been meaning to get done. On the downside, my lungs are all irritated from the third-hand smoke of his mentholated cigarettes. Okay, let’s find that sense of calm again, begin breathing, listening to the water, looking at the trees. *inhale, exhale* The guy was taking texts while I was on speakerphone with different people. Very straaaange.