23:40// A video I have liked since I was a young lad, but dear, watching it now, given our past and the texts with which we engage, it is something quite different now. I love you. Be well.
23:45// Would it really be that ‘crazy’ if I were to say that I cannot create my best work without you in my life? I love you, even if it has driven me a bit mad. Be well handsome, you knew I was a ‘creative type’ when we began dating. I am sorry I lost sleep and went nuts in the chaotic city. x^3
0:25// Government agencies are targeting me for ads now. I am really good at textual analysis and pattern recognition, like woah.
23:21// Perhaps I don’t know how to give up on you. I realize rationally that I should, but as you said once in the kitchen, “emotions aren’t rational”. (That being said, I can avoid the sleep-deprived nonsense of the tempest.) I have never been like this concerning any other. I don’t know. I am never your enemy, whatever the case. Be well stranger. I truly love you. These screens really messed things up. I am sorry for all the wrong I did. I love you.
Glenn Gould performing J. S. Bach’s “Well-Tempered Clavier, Book II”
14:57// I love you dear. Be well. I miss your hands.
15:03// The music is relaxing, reminding me of the beautiful harmony we once had together. I keep hoping and waiting for the third act. Surely, we are well beyond the crescendo. I truly love you S. I always will. I sit on the couch listening to this and reading about ultra-high-performance concrete (UHPC) facades that, with little or no maintenance, will last for 1,000 years. *An advertisement breaks into the music, with a jarring upbeat synthesized jingle, students in an elliptical array about a horizontal human-length X-ray display.*
14:32// I would try to head out of Port Elizabeth or perhaps take a train as far west as I can, stopping for a few days in Chicago, then crossing a route that leaves from the Pacific coast. Without love or a career, movement keeps me from getting stuck in a depressive rut. Billy Idol sings “Rebel Yell” : “8,000 miles for you babe. … I give you all, and I have nothing.”
14:26// “Everything She Wants” by Wham! plays as I review my dreams. I have a neoprene gas mask in the bedroom which makes one look like a character from Mortal Kombat. I might sign up to take a merchant vessel to China, writing about containerization on the way. I could stay with Ryan in Shanghai. I just have to make sure I bring extra filters and perhaps goggles in case the pollution gets really bad.