19:12// My sister sends out an image of her puppy. You know S., we would make good human-companions to a cutie like Kona or Helo. I will always love you, believe in us, and have your back, as long as we share the same sky. Forgiveness is powerful. I believe in your best. Clearly, I am committed.
19:41// Believe I have a bit of a head cold, watching an episode of Air Disasters in which an airplane circles in a holding pattern until it runs out of fuel and crashes. The captain was obsessed with figuring out why a landing gear warning light was on, failing to see, much as I failed to see in the spring of 2013, that he was running out of fuel. I am sorry. I forgive. Please let there be peace between us. I love you so truly, as a friend and as a brother if nothing more. Be well. x^3
*Looks up to the paused TV show, the word “COLLAPSE” projected onto the right profile of the actor playing the captain, framed in utter darkness. I love you.*
"They lost sight of the big picture… They lost sight of the real emergency…"
Please remember how beautiful it was before the tempest S. Please forgive me and let there be peace.
19:53// They go over several other crashes, all caused because of problems concerning miscommunication. Ah, were it only possible for each of us to know what Miranda was whispering in the ears of others, but only the writer and the programmer ever pretend to have such omniscient knowledge of a system of communication. Human life is not simple S., and a love like ours will have always been worth the fight, whether or not we ever meet again one day, brother.
20:00// It is Season 4: Episode 8: “Focused On Failure”. We grow from learning from our failures S. We can be respectfully assertive towards one another and grow into an even greater team, but I cannot do it alone. I love you.
"He lost his license, he lost his family, the rest of his life was just shattered," the episode ends. I gave you my life, what more could I possibly have done to make things right? I love you, be well stranger.
21:17// Notices his skimpy boxers, covered in black-white prints of handguns, purchased in LA, are by PEGLEG NYC. It’s a tangled web we weave. The last stanza was perhaps a bit melodramatic, but it is true that my entire life, of which you had become such an integral part, vanished when you went away, and my rebound was sabotaged by the false report filed against me last spring. I can forgive you most anything. We clicked on a romantic, physical, and intellectual level that is so damn hard to come by. And so I weave on, hoping that we might yet be or at least that there might be peace between us some day. Be well whatever the case handsome (‘Handsome’ and ‘Peg Leg’ also being names of dogs I had growing up).
7:23// I have no meaning left but my love for you. I hope you are enjoying your simple life and have another productive day. I remain stuck in the holding pattern, endlessly circling, left with nothing but pain, regret, and sorrow. Be well brother.