The Storm Subsides | I Am Not His Enemy
Seeing the temporary and somewhat comical nature of the painful crisis for what it has been, I am feeling somewhat hopeful despite recent events. I am beginning to find myself again after the storm, recognizing the need to let go of the worst of it. He will see or he will not see, but what we had was certainly beautiful and unique before the period of chaos which is ending. Things are falling back into place. This has all been like a piece by Berlioz — a shocking exuberant explosion of discordant noise before a return to a calm and reassuring melody.
I refuse to resent him, however tempting that may be, because I know he has acted from a state of panic and towards a straw man that is not me. I forgive him because I hope for a similar forgiveness of my unfair and unkind words/actions towards him from my state of panic in the early spring. We can only steer the ship towards the future. What is done is done, but I offer absolution for his treatment of me and hope he will find it within himself to one day offer me the same.
Hell is empty, but we were only devils to one another during a time of mutual crisis for which we were not properly prepared. While I was in studio worrying about the island flooding, he was struggling to write about “The Knot Garden” while still trying to visit me. We were sweet, but the stress caused me to be unpleasant and him to build the wall again (as he did as a child with miniature cereal boxes, ornery beast). Do not listen to the angry Ariel I heard barking such horrible things about me. He was not perfect either and she does not know me. In truth, you do not know who your friends are unless you have been as close as we. I am not his enemy. The storm is over, now we work and wait. I still hope we one day meet again, brother.